Saturday, May 14, 2016

The Empress

The middle of the the afternoon. Summer draws its lazy hand across a deep blue sky and eddies of heat and shimmer blur my vision of distance. Insects buzz around me and soft breezes catch at my loose hair and I feel languid and drowsy. I am under this wide open sky not too far from a tree line. It is a field and it is full of wheat and dusty fragrance. This is late summer, the time of harvest and plenty. I feel this deep satisfaction and I fill my senses with the warmth and the harmony and the scents of this time of abundance.

Finally I gain the strength past my drowsiness to look up and see at the beginning of the trees and bathed in this aura of warm mid afternoon sun, a goddess of sorts. She is surrounded by cotton pillows and blankets and softly swirling netting. An aura of pink light seems to infuse her area. She is gentle and smiling at me and I push myself to rise and quietly walk on bare feet in her direction. Things change around me a bit and I feel the cool comfort of so many trees behind her and smell this piney scent and notice a babbling brook. The sounds of little birds flitting and cooing to each other fills my ears. It is a heavy but not uncomfortable blanket of comfort that covers my entire being and I am walking so slowly and picking my way thru the field of wheat to this beautiful lady. I notice that my clothes are tattered. I am wearing a dress of some sort in dark colors and shredded fabric. My feet are bare and dirty and I am unkempt and unready to meet someone so sensuous and beautiful as this Empress

She smiles brighter and a little more as I keep coming closer and I feel encouraged even tho I am aware that I do not shine as she does. She radiates the sun above in this warm comfort, but she is not uncomfortable in this heat. Rather she smells of sun-drenched hair and folds of wind dried cloth. her dress billows about her and she resides on soft and ample pillows. She is pregnant and I am sure it is twins. She inclines her head to me as if to indicate I know the truth. And she reaches out her hand and I come closer at once overcome to touch these soft folds that surround her and I feel strangely and deeply aroused. She is so lovely with gently waving hair and a crown on her head of twelve diamonds that reflect like stars.

I wonder at her ability to have so much wisdom and then wonder how I know that. She is divine feminine at the strongest. And I am in awe of this loveliness and this sensing of deep, deep rivers of understanding. She has seen all. She has seen pain and travail and she has seen me. She has noticed this emptiness and void and she has called me across this field. She has heard my supplications and my aching for more meaning and more understanding. In fact she has called me into this soft world when I wasn't here before. She knows that from great pain and travail can come great compassion and the ability to nurture. She has drawn me to heal me. She has called my spirit from another time and place. She is the mother I never had - she is the soft and the strong. She is the friend I always wanted. She is the mentor my heart asked for. She is the strength and the yielding. She is beautiful and soft and yet powerful and defined. She is all in this very moment I stand beside her so deeply aware of her power and presence.

I see her soft cheek and her fair and perfect skin. Rose light shines from her face and her eyes are liquid pools of compassion. She is perfection and she is looking at me as tho I have something to offer and I feel embarrassed by my thin and filthy appearance. I am not worthy of so much glory and strength. And I have brought nothing but myself to this place. But then I glance again at my thin frame and notice my dress has lengthened and it is this gossamer flowing linen. I am no longer dirty and my body is shining. The edges of my skirts soak in the flowing water beside us and I feel this gentle tug from the fabric. I look again at the empress and she seems to be sending this light into me as she hands me a pomegranate to nourish my depleted body. I eat and the stains of the fruit spatter onto that soft white fabric of my dress but it is not as it shouldn't be. It seems as if these stains grow and emanate outward and become this living life force. They radiate and now the dress glows in this rose quartz color. I am stunning in her glow and her life force. She radiates so much life and abundance that I am swallowed up into her aura and now I am as she is but with darker hair and lush brown eyes. She is full and I am fuller still. I am as a gem and I know I will never be as I was. I am full of her life and her ability to create. I am full of her love and her compassion.

She never saw me as I was but only as I was to become. I have become and I am never. I was and I am. I feel this life swirling from the beginnings of my toes and up through my legs and into my navel and chest and as it flows thru my being, my head becomes this crown of many colored stars. And I radiate. I am in awe and I don't step away from this scene but rather I am suddenly in this moment as I was then. My organs pulse and my body radiates and I feel sensual and drawn to pleasure myself and continue this drawing and filling of life and force and spiraling and energy that I felt so deeply in her presence. She has given me far more than anything she held. She has given me a piece of her spirit and her love. I will create as she. I will draw in the light and diffuse it. I am gentleness and soul. I am compassion and nurturing. I hold all and I am soft and strong as she. She has turned my mourning into mirth and my grief into enlightenment. The dark things have become my light and I am aware of those I can nurture and love others just as she has me. What she has given is now mine to impart.

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