Saturday, May 7, 2016

Claire de Lune

Claire de Lune is often played and well known. But I have reinterpreted this journey starting with the moon and ending among the stars. These are the things I see as I play this well loved and admired piece of music by Debussy.


Two dulcet chords, one barely outshining the other and the mood is set. I face these ivory keys one foot each on parallel pedals. A soft shimmer and vibrating beam. My fingers touch so lightly and so deeply too. I hear the moon in my piano and the phrases flow as her own shining. First one and then the next and I am swept away on tones so soft and so gentle. It seems easy to touch these notes. I find my fingers carried on them and then my mind lifts away from this physical sense and I am floating. Floating up to the top of each lyrical ascent and then drifting back again. And I am never quite touching anything but these silver beams. They wrap around me and fill me with a scintillating light. I am enraptured. I am enchanted.

And now a pause and these heavy things lift themselves into the motion. The moon shines in the dark after all. And it is darkness that plays at the fringes of my mind and echoes the past of my struggle. Rising, rising. There is more to come and yet the chords grow brighter in the steady climb. I feel this pulse in each measure now; two then three, then two then three again. And each one lifts me higher and higher until all resolves in an orgasm of tiny fast paced tones. And the dark has faded into moving waves. Waves that carry these moonbeams and shatter that light into thousands of tiny undulations.

I am seeing this dark water. Vastly stretching into inky shadows. I can imagine it travels on forever after the beam of light has vanished. On and on the waves roll, never faster but always as sure. Up and over and back again and they seem to wash my soul in their repetition, tugging and tearing at the places I have held so sure. I am undone. Now a melody. Unadorned and yet not, like a fine piece of glass with simplicity it's most pure quality. This melody reaches first here and then a little higher. And I am humming with it, sailing over these tender phrases with ease and love. And my voice falters where my body joins it. And I am one with these phrases and I am their lithe form shaping and creating and moving just so to these perfect brush strokes. I am one with them and they with me and there is no separation any longer.

Falling, falling. It seems a death of sorts. A lovely death. A choice, a shift. There is nothing of pain or sorrow here but rather a transformation of my own being into this symphony of sound. Rising again but this time in my spirit form and I no longer sit at those hard white keys. Rather I am part of this scene woven so deeply into my fiber. Lake, shadow and moon. The moon. So silver and so creamy and so luminous and yet so dark. How does she capture all these phrases? How does she weave them so effortlessly and I feel her radiate deep into my marrow. She has filled me with her light and her peace and her own radiance. And I am shining and I am reflecting her as she is reflecting me. I am this luminous orb and she is this radiant sphere and we are one and we are both and I remain so still for just a brief moment feeling this deep sense of belonging.

O these tiny notes. These tiny sparkling glitters falling all around me. I reach out and touch just one and feel its soft heat. It warms me. I feel it in my feet. And I feel myself lift just a bit. And now I am amongst these tiny points. I am feeling each one strike at me just so and tug this deep emotion in me. And I feel these tiny stars on my face and my arms and my legs and my breasts. And I raise myself to them and realize these same stars falling from my own eyes. They are so full and my emotion is so great. Each tiny star is a jewel that sparkles as it leaves my heart and joins this celestial race. I wear them and I move in them. They have accepted me and filled me.

And now I float softly and begin this descent. These waves call to me again. This up and this down and up and down and this rise and this fall and I sink lower and lower. I feel the waves touch my being. It is a warm water. Water that welcomes. It is a womb once again that begins to take hold of my soul. I sink lower and find myself almost completely submerged in these gentle waves. Folding, caressing, taking me close again. I am secure and serene and I at last surrender to this moon drenched sea.

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